The Longest Ride
Directed by George Tillman Jr.
This movie is so bad you will try everything in your power to forget you ever even saw it.
I mean holy shit! Even if you are somehow able to wipe your memory log of this worthless pile of crap-shit, you’ll still be having nightmares about how much time you wasted watching this bullshit.
I mean holy fuck! Imagine an ideal reality. A different universe maybe; a utopian world. Imagine that in this world everything that should happen, happens. Imagine there are no barriers blockading your sources of bliss, because this world is perfect. A world so beautiful that if you were able to catch even just a glimpse of for just a second, you would no longer have any doubts or questions of a higher power, for you would have just glimpsed a world through the eyes of God.
Brace yourselves, for I have seen this world. I have walked on this land. And it is breathtaking.
It is a world populated only by rob schneider, And he is being brutally tortured and/or shot in the face. At all times. And When he is killed, he is resurrected. And when he is re-born he is again brutally tortured and/or shot in the face, because like I said, this world is perfect. And low and behold it is all being digitally recorded! So if you miss anything horrible happen to rob Schneider you can go back and watch it in a beautiful blue ray picture!
Now imagine; Imagine that somehow here on earth there are copies of said recordings, Imagine that segments of these recordings are placed into every single scene of the The Longest Ride.
Even if by some grace of God this masterpiece of a movie is shown in theaters this fucking movie STILL wouldn’t be worth fucking watching.
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I mean holy shit! The two characters In this movie were supposed to be in love?? I felt no love. The last time i felt less chemistry I was flunking out of Dr. Whelans chemistry high school class.
This movie sucked and I wish I never saw it.
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