aloha post picAloha
Directed by Cameron Crowe

What in the shit?
How can you fuck up a movie with a cast like this? Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Danny Mcbride, FUCKING BILL MURRAY!!
Such a promising movie that just shits on itself.
It’s convoluted narrative meshes oh so well with its terribly watered down love story- a love story without any romance.
Bradley Cooper and Emma Stone shared about the same amount of passion with each other as you might share with an apple.
Actually fuck that, I think I can make a better love story with an apple than Cooper made with Stone.
I mean holy shit! This is literally a love story without a love story.
But not too worry! This movie is fully loaded with two comedic powerhouses: Danny McBride and the legendary Bill Murray. Alas The movie is saved!! Oh wait. No it’s not. I forgot. Neither of these hilarious fucking actors are in any way hilarious. And it’s not even their fault. They have no usable or funny dialogue. Why cast these guys if you’re not gonna actually use them for what they’re best at? Why cast them if you’re not tryna get a little comedic relief out of them? I understand you can probably use Bill Murray for more than just comedic relief, but Danny Mcbride!? He was the perfect jam for this dry ass bread.
And Bill Murray? Usually cast as a sort of lovable ass, isn’t lovable at all. He’s just a straight up dick with no redeeming qualities. I guess you can say he’s the villain (which might be stretching it) in this flick, and I’m not supposed to like him, but holy fuck maybe I would have liked his character more if the dude had more than five minutes of screen time.
You fucked this one up, Mr. Cameron Crowe. Ya fucked it up real nice like.
With a cast like this you could have had a summer blockbuster. Instead you chose to make a fecal fuck fest of unparalleled proportions.
I hope you’re happy with yourself.

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